If I were to die today.

if i were to die today.
i would like to thank Allah for the beautiful life.
if i were to die today.
i would like to ask forgiveness, may Allah accept my repentance.
if i were to die today.
i would like to enjoy every last seconds i have.
if i were to die today.
i would like to treat my friends better, for they deserve it.
if i were to die today.
i would like to make peace and clear all the grudges.
if i were to die today.
i would like to treasure my family more and love them better.
if i were to die today.
i would like to hug and kiss my mom and dad endlessly.
if i were to die today.
i would like to pat on my brothers' backs and congratulate them.
if i were to die today.
i would like to ask every person to forgive me.
if i were to die today.
i would like to sit with you, my dearest love of my life; all day long.

if i were to die today.
if; and only if.

('AR,2013)
09:31_07102013

forgive me,people.

for who i am.

for who i am not.

forgive me. please.

['AmyraRamlan]

Untuk kamu. Zauj-to-be. :)

Assalamualaikum.
To whom it may concern.

You has never been the least of my concern before. 
I didn't knew you back there, but I am glad that I've met you.
:)

It may have been a coincidence that we met during my bad days. It may have been a set up by Him, The Creator. Whatever it is, yet I am glad. Truly. You were there when everyone left me alone. You ride through the rain just to get me home safely. You patiently waited up for me during my check-ups, during my hospital visits and even when I was rushed to the emergency. For when I have no one else, you were there. I thank you.

During those days, I have to give up my passion. My societies, my programs, my games. I have to put it all aside. It was hard, indeed. As I have been living on those for the past 6 years. Those were my soul, they keep me alive each day. To have given up so fast, my heart shattered. I remember crying in front of you after my appointment with the doctor. When he said that I have to start strengthening my emotion for I have to let go of almost everything; I was broken-hearted. You know how much I love my passion. He told me how bad my condition can really be, how at the final stage of it I may have to be wheelchair-bound, how unstable my condition can turn to and such. I lose hope. My faith starts to shaken up. That was a year ago, where up until now, you haven't given up on me. I thank you. 

You were always there. You helped me through with my rehab process. You stand by my side, for you are afraid that I may fall down. You became my reminder for my pills and check ups. You became my 'punching bag' without any reasons. You listen to my random talks, you push me through the dark tunnels I am afraid of going into. You did your own research on my condition, and the available alternative treatment. I can't thank you enough for what you have done for me. Yet, I thank you.

Awak.
When you promised Abah that you'll take care of me, I'm amazed that you are willing to take such a huge responsibility. When you told me that you want to come and ask my hand for marriage, I can't help but to cry. Those were tears of happiness. I feel that I have given you nothing but being a burden to you. Yet, you still looking forward to build a future with me. For that, I thank you.

In less than a year, we have reached this level. 
I'm touched. I'm thankful. Alhamdulillah.

Holding that ring, asking me a question;

"Will you marry me and let me be your guardian angel?"

My answer will definitely be a '"YES".

Terima kasih awak.

p/s: i cried while writing this. ILY.

['AmyraRamlan]

For you. My SIX years history.

Assalamualaikum.

Awak. Ye saudara, ini untuk awak.
I know you'll read this, because you have always been checking out my blog. I know. 

Awak. You have been there for me since I first entered UiTM. You helped me through, a lot. You have been a buddy, a brother, a companion. I thank you for that. You have taught me countless facts of life. You've shared endless knowledge. I thank Allah for that.

After 6 years, there's one thing that has been always up on my mind. We had this relationship going nowhere. Yes, nowhere. I don't blame you. I don't blame myself. I don't blame Allah. He knows best for us. Well, things started to change. It seems like at a point, I know that we can't be together. Bukan sebab tak ada jodoh, tapi pada saya jodoh kita hanya setakat ini. Pasti ada sebab kenapa Allah temukan kita, dah izinkan kita bersahabat selama 6 tahun. Bukan sekejap. Itu satu tempoh yang cukup lama.

When we ended, you treated me like a stupid girl. Going around bashing me up, like it's my fault that we had to end our relationship. Saya kecewa. Amat. Kerana awak kenal keluarga saya. Umi dan Abah. Mal dan Adek. Mama's family, Ibu's family. My cousins. Awak kenal best friends saya, sahabat-sahabat saya, team kepimpinan saya. Yet, awak seolah tak redha bila kita jadi macam ni.

Maaf. Pada janji saya yang tak tertunai.
Maaf. Pada kata dusta andai ada terluah dalam kata saya.

Untuk yang terakhir kali, saya mohon. Izinkan saya lepaskan cerita kita. Izinkan saya lupakan awak. Please make this easy for me. Izinkan saya untuk buang segalanya. Tolong jangan simpan dendam, agar mudah untuk saya maafkan keegoan awak. Kita adalah sejarah. Saya telah miliki masa depan yang mana tiada nama awak di dalamnya.

Please.
For the last time.
Don't haunt me anymore.
The six years was a bless,
but it is a history I don't want to live in.

Please.
Let me go.

['AmyraRamlan]

Platform.

Assalamualaikum.
Hey fellas! :)

Sorry that I am not that keen to update my blog. It's just that I don't have much time to do so, and whenever I don't feel like blogging, I just randomly updated those through my Facebook status. Blog and media networking for me is just where I can share my thoughts, my feelings and my opinions. 

I used to talk. A lot. 
Maybe more than I am supposed to. 
I used to portray my words in random ways.
Maybe even those I am not supposed to.

Well, the thing is, people I've met, places I've been to, things I've done; those has taught me a lesson about life in their own unique ways. Which being without, won't make me the 'who' I am right now. Lessons learnt. Alhamdulillah. :)

Forgive me for who I am.

Forgive me for who I am not.

Either or, neither nor.

I can't be perfect.

Though I don't write much,

these words may be a remedy for some people.

Though I can't help much,

I hope these could leave prints all over town.

This is my platform.

It's how I live life. :)

['AmyraRamlan]